Is having/wants to have sex
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
While this is a natural part of life, the child doesn't yet have a deep enough understanding of all the things that come with having sex.
What Will Make It Worse
Ignoring your child's attempts to discuss this side of themselves or having a negative response won't change their thinking, it will only lessen your connection with them and possibly move them toward a self lead path ending in unwanted consequences.
What The Child Needs
1. To determine if they are too young to be interested in sex: Talk with them about why they are interested in sex to begin with. If they are very young, it might just be more of a curiosity. If this is the case, answer their questions directly at an age-appropriate level, while also getting them to understand that sex isn't something that is a part of their life at this age, and a more in-depth talk can happen when they are older.
If they are older, or even young, and are truly interested in having sex, proceed to the additional needs.
2. (If applicable) To know what their family's beliefs are: Due to your religion, or other important cultural influences, your family may have strict rules or expectations around sex. Make sure your child is aware of this, and why they are in place for their benefit.
3. To educate themselves about having safe sex: Share with them that their decision to have sex comes with a lot of responsibilities including understanding what sex is, how it happens, how to protect themselves, the social pressures, and our cultural glorification of sex. Feel free to use school resources, or reputable online resources to educate them on all of these aspects of sex.
4. To acknowledge the potential consequences of sexual activity: Let them know that while having protected, consensual sex is key to minimizing the unwanted consequences, they need to be aware of all of the possible outcomes, such as unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, regret, shame, etc.
5. Valuable stories from relatable people: Hearing stories from relatable people of the good and bad that came from having sex can help teach your child how to make mature decisions for themselves about sex. (These stories can be quickly found through Google searches but pay close attention to the link's URL as for every search result that is helpful and educational, the next one down may be borderline pornographic and to be avoided.)
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a time where you and the child are relaxed and can talk in an environment that is private, comfortable and distraction free.
*If the child is pretty young, then have a quick chat where you acknowledge their interest in sex, give simple answers to their questions and end by agreeing to talk more about it when they are older and it is more relevant to them.*
If the child is of an appropriate age to really get into the details, let them know that their interest in sex is normal. Share that you want them to be well-informed so they can be prepared for any situation. Continue that sex is a big deal and can lead to life-changing consequences.
Talk through points 2-4 of "What The Child Needs" with them. It's ok to acknowledge that this subject might be uncomfortable for the two of you, but that you remember being their age and know that this kind of talk is what you needed.
Throughout this conversation, keep it light and engaging so the child cares about/retains what you talked about. The goal is to give them a good foundational overview of sex, and get them willing to come to you about sex in the future as needed.
Note: Point 5 of "What The Child Needs" could be very helpful to your child but it does come with a word of caution and require your supervision so that your child is not exposed to inappropriate content.