Interrupting for attention / Needing to be the center of attention
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
Unmet needs for attention, connection and feeling loved.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting with favoritism to another sibling, comparing the child negatively to another child, or dismissing the child's feelings and needs will worsen the situation.
What The Child Needs
1. To feel cared about: Foster a sense of emotional security by reassuring the child of your love for them. Let them know that giving them attention at every moment is not possible. You cannot do that for them nor anyone else in the family. If they are wanting attention and you can't give it right then, it doesn't mean that you don't care about them, it means you are already doing something that requires your full attention. Assure them that in such circumstance you will let them know the soonest possible time you can give them your attention.
2. To learn positive attention-seeking skills: Discuss ways the child can seek attention, such as visually checking to see if you are in the middle of an activity, then verbally asking if you are busy in that moment. If you are not busy, they can then explain what they would like from you.
3. Pre-planned time for you to focus on them: Decide on a recurring time, or a time in the future, that they can look forward to, when you can play and provide the attention and connection they enjoy.
4. Sibling interaction (if applicable): Encourage activities that foster engagement and bonding between the siblings so that the child can be provided the attention they are seeking from another person.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a private space, without distractions, where the child feels comfortable talking freely.
Encourage the child to share his/her feelings and experiences regarding trying to get attention from you. Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective better and express understanding for any frustration or sad feelings the child may have.
Then discuss point #1 under "What The Child Needs" above with them.
Next explain that you don't want them to have these negative feelings so you two are going to work together to make a plan. Move on to discussing points 2-4.
Try to end with the child feeling a deeper sense of care and love from you, as well as having a more realistic expectation of the frequency in which you can give them attention. Ensure they leave the conversation with the comfort of knowing you will have dedicated time together.