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Having a hard time following simple instructions

Having a hard time following simple instructions

Before You Begin

Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.

 

Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you. 

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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.

The Core Problem

Not focused and/or comprehending while receiving the instructions.

What Will Make It Worse

Reacting with frustration, impatience, or using harsh disciplinary measures will escalate their emotions making it harder for them to take in the instructions.

What The Child Needs

1. To remove everything else competing for their attention and mental bandwidth: When they are having trouble with the instructions, and you have already ruled out that the instructions are not too advanced for their current comprehension and abilities, ask them to pause and think about if they are distracted with other thoughts. Remind them that they can only focus on one thing at a time, and in this moment the instructions need their full attention so they can do what is being asked of them correctly.

2. To think through what could promote their comprehension: Help the child think what might aid them in better understanding what they are being asked to do. For instance, they may realize that explaining written instructions to them in a more visual would be very helpful to them.

3. Positive reinforcement: Offer positive recognition when the child follows instructions correctly. Praise their efforts and cooperation. Get them to want to feel that satisfaction again and again.

How To Have The Conversation With Your Child

Find a good moment to sit with the child in a place free of distractions.

Express that you really care, and want to understand any difficulties the child is having in following instructions. Let them know that you are there to support and help them.

Work with the child on the "What The Child Needs" pointers above, one-by-one.

This type of challenge will require more ongoing involvement/attentiveness in the moment from you that other things you may have dealt with in the past. While a single conversation might not make an overnight change, by following this strategy you most certainly are paving the way for the positive and permanent change to happen in them.

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