Hard time separating from me / leaving my side
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
Anxiety from feeling unsafe on some level.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting with impatience/frustration and dismissing their feelings or pushing them away will increase their fear/distress and make them cling tighter.
What The Child Needs
1. Predictability and routine: Provide a consistent routine, as it helps the child feel more secure and confident about what to expect and rely on.
2. Coping strategies: Teach the child strategies such as deep breathing, playtime distractions or hugging a favorite toy, to use during separations to manage their anxiety.
3. Gradual separation with reassurance: Ease the child into separations, starting with shorter periods and gradually extending them as the child becomes more comfortable. Offer reassurance and comfort, letting the child know that you understand their feelings and that you will always come back after a separation.
4. Positive attention: Offer praise when the child handles a separation well, encouraging them to enjoy independence.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a calm moment, free of distractions, where the child will stay engaged with you.
Begin the conversation with supportive interest, encouraging the child to share their feelings and concerns about times when they didn't want to separate from you. Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective better.
Without using a dismissive or belittling tone, address any worries they have that are impossible or very unlikely.
Next, in cooperation with the child, make a plan for the "What The Child Needs" pointers 1-3 listed above.
Ideally, you are able to start the conversation with the child loving the feeling that you are really interested in them, and then guide it to a sense of being on a team together with the shared goal of getting them to enjoy independence.