Hard time regulating their emotions
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
They feel their emotions are appropriate for the situations and don't see a reason to change them.
What Will Make It Worse
Shouting or angrily talking at the child, demanding that they control their emotions will, at a minimum, make it harder for them to regulate their emotions and likely escalate them into an even more uncontrollable emotional state.
What The Child Needs
1. To develop a more constructive communication approach: Encourage the child to communicate their feelings and concerns openly but calmly. They are allowed to feel the way they do, but they must choose to be more helpful and less escalatory in explaining what is causing them to feel that way.
2. To learn emotional regulation skills: Help them identify and manage their feelings effectively. Teach them deep breathing, mindfulness, or other coping strategies.
3. Better problem-solving skills and additional role modeling: Help guide them during problem-solving situations, or use role play to find constructive ways to cope with challenging emotions. Additionally, model emotional regulation in daily life so they can see it is something everyone deals with.
4. Emotional safety: Provide a safe and non-judgmental environment for the child to express their feelings without fear of criticism or punishment. Express empathy for challenges they may be facing, and that you are there to support them.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a private space where the child feels comfortable to talk about why they are having such big and unpleasant emotions.
Use empathy and active listening to show that you genuinely care.
Listen without interrupting, so the child feels heard and validated. Avoid judgment and criticism during the conversation.
The child seeing the effort you are putting in to comfort them is key towards them achieving better emotional stability.
Even if it doesn't all happen in one conversation, start acting on the provided list of items that the child needs.