Doesn't want to take turns
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
A desire for immediate gratification and a lack of awareness of others' needs.
What Will Make It Worse
Reacting by punishing or shaming the child for their behavior will make them feel bad without anything learned, and they will cling tighter to control over what they are doing because it makes them happy.
What The Child Needs
1. To better understand why we take turns: Clearly explain the process and expectations for turn-taking. Let the child know that everyone in the group, including them, will get a turn and then the cycle of turns will repeat again. This structure brings predictability, makes everything fair and takes away any fears that they will get passed over or left out. When everyone cooperates with taking turns, then everyone feels included and valued.
2. To find how they can regulate their emotions: Help the child determine what works best for them to manage impatience or frustration when waiting for their turn. Is it using that energy to think about what move they are going to do when their turn comes? Or slow, deep breaths? Have them act out waiting for their turn and see what best suits them.
3. To try perspective-taking: Help the child reframe the situation in their mind by imaging others' strong desire and excitement for their turn to play in the game/activity, just like the child feels. Imagining how others' feel makes it easier for us to move on to someone else's turn after ours.
4. Positive reinforcement: Offer positive reinforcement and recognition when the child demonstrates patience and willingness to take turns.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Having this conversation in the moment when they aren't taking turns likely won't go well. Tensions will be high and they won't be receptive to anything because their thinking has already shut down to some degree.
Once some time has passed, find a good moment to initiate the conversation, where both you and the child can talk without distractions.
Begin the conversation with empathy, expressing understanding that in the beginning, taking turns can feel pretty frustrating. Let them know that all kids learn to take turns, even if they had the same feelings that he/she feels.
Share with them that you want to explain why turn-taking is so useful and what they can do to make it seem more okay.
Next talk through the points within "What The Child Needs".
The more engaging you can make it for the child the better, as the conversation will feel more like an activity itself rather than a lecture.