Doesn't want to do their chores
Before You Begin
Pause and breathe. Even if this shouldn't be happening... accept that it is and embrace it with composure and calmness.
Calmness is the only way forward because without calm, there is no possibility for receptiveness and connection. Your child won't give to you any more than they see from you.
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Never forget that a strong connection is fundamental, as there will be no correction in them if there is no connection with you.
The Core Problem
He/She doesn't see the positive impact they have on themselves or the family by doing the chores.
What Will Make It Worse
Criticizing or shaming the child for not doing their chores will lead to resistance, a worse connection between you and the child, and nothing learned on their part.
Also, doing their chore tasks for them because it is "just easier, and it needs to get done" will not cause a positive behavior change in them.
What The Child Needs
1. To see how chores benefit them/the family: Explain the benefits that come when everyone takes personal responsibility and does their part out of respect for the house and other family members. Remind them of times when chores went neglected and how disgusting things got (e.g. stinky trash by the door, no clean dishes to use but a lot of dirty dishes, always stepping in something sticky or on something that crunches into crumbs). On the flip side, make the child see how when everyone is doing their chores, every surface is pleasant to touch, there are plenty of clean dishes, and there is nothing around that makes you want to barf.
2. To be allowed to do it their way: Provide the child with flexibility around how and when they do their chores. For example, they can choose to do all of their chores in one day, or spread them out over the week. As long as the chores get done, it's a win!
3. To have fun: Turn doing chores into a game, or make it more enjoyable by playing music and working alongside each other.
4. Positive reinforcement: Give praise when they stay on top of their chores proactively.
5. To see others pulling their weight: Demonstrate responsibility by doing your part and showing the child that housework is a natural part of daily life.
How To Have The Conversation With Your Child
Find a comfortable place, free of distractions.
Begin the conversation calmly, expressing that you have noticed the child hasn't been doing, or is reluctant to do their chores. [Provide specific examples if you can]
Continue with empathy, sharing that when you were a kid you remember what it was like not wanting to do your chores - But now you do them no problem and don't think anything of it.
What changed?
[Work through the provided list of needs with them]
1. You saw the good you were bringing to the house...
2. You started to do it your way...
3. You decided to make it fun...
The plan here is to take them on your journey of becoming ok with chores as a kid to bond with them over this, and then have them see that they are at the start of their journey. While yes chores are a pretty mundane thing in general, having them see them in the context of a generational tradition will be the perspective shake up they need.
Give them praise for their efforts doing chores in the following weeks and have the rest of the family members model doing their version of chores, and the child will go from the kid mentality of "chores = bad" to "it's a part of life".